


Dreams of Days Gone

by Allycatsub



Series: Fireteam: Polybia [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Y'all got the fluff last time, now it's time for the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allycatsub/pseuds/Allycatsub
Summary: Cal explains how they're back while Jirren stirs in her sleep.





	Dreams of Days Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd as always, I've been wanting to write some feelsy stuff for a while now

In the month since their reunion, Xia elected not to ask the question that burned in her mind. It felt like a warning, like sensors going off to warn her of an impending danger. She wanted so badly to ask how they were back, how they remembered her, or each other. She sat awake by a window, staring out over the city, thousands of lights spanned her view below her.

Xia was roused from her thoughts by a light flicking on behind her.

“So this is where you scurried off to,” Cal half-yawned. She moved over to the window and looked out at the city. “I think I can see our old place from here,” she said, pointing to a still ruined district of the city. She looked to Xia and her smile dropped. “You doin’ okay, sweetheart?”

Xia shrugged, “I’m just thinking is all,” she said, her eyes still fixed on a spot a ways outside the city.

“Oooh, that’s a bad sign,” Cal said, settling down on the windowsill next to Xia, “Anytime you start thinkin’ it means there’s somethin’ weighing mighty heavy on your mind.” She reached over and took one of Xia’s hands in her own and traced circles against the pleasantly warm metal with her thumb.

“It was when you killed Ghaul,” Cal said, her voice barely more than a whisper, “I know you’ve been wrestlin’ with the idea of askin’,” 

“I… I don’t remember anything from when I was dead,” Cal said, still looking at Xia’s hand, “But Gloriosa filled me in on what happened. That pulse the traveller let out, the one that gave all the guardians back their light? It was just enough to jump-start Gloriosa.”

“And with her back in action,”

“She was able to bring you back,” Xia interjected, “I had worked that out for myself, actually.” She tapped her temple twice, “Mind like a supercomputer, me.” she said semi sarcastically. “It’s not you that I’m worried about… Wait, no that sounds wrong.. Of course I’m worried about you, but...” She looked over to the bed, to Jirren, clutching the sheets for dear life, face strained in a mix of fear and pain.

Cal followed her gaze. “She’s been like this since she found me,” she stood and moved to Jirren’s side and brushed her hair behind her ear gently. “According to Europa, after her first night back, she didn’t sleep until she found me...”

Jirren stirred as Cal spoke, and Europa floated beside her, her single eye peering worriedly at her Guardian.

“Jirren didn’t remember anything when she came back,” Cal said, “It was like she was a kinderguardian all over again. No memories of you, of me… Of the Black Garden,” she took a breath, centered herself before continuing, “Then the nightmares started. She said she saw things in her dreams, flashes of things. My face, an Exo-- that’d be you.”

“It was like it was coming back to her, Gloriosa thinks it’s ‘cause she’s Awoken--”

Jirren tossed more violently this time, turning from left to right five or six times, voicing her discomfort. Her face contorted as though she was in agony.

“Hey hey, it’s okay,” Cal whispered to her, impossibly quiet and tender, “It’s alright, sweetpea, you’re safe now,”

Jirren rolled over and jolted awake, she instinctively reached for the sidearm on the bedside table, breathing hard and fast, she pressed against the backboard, aiming the sidearm between Xia and Cal, a look of mortal fear in her eyes, every muscle in her body trembling.

She looked frantically back and forth between Xia and Cal, and after a few seconds, tossed the gun out of her hand. She pulled her knees close to her chest and curled up. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, “I thought you were--”

Cal shook her head, “Sweetpea, it’s fine, you don’t need to explain,” Cal looked to Xia and motioned for her to join them.

Xia moved to Jirren’s side and leaned in close, “Follow me,” she whispered, then looked to Cal, “I’m going out for a bit,” without another word, she turned on her heels and walked out of the apartment.

She waited outside for nearly twenty minutes before finally, Jirren joined her outside. She had been crying, though she’d never admit it. Xia knew the signs all too well, and Jirren never was very good at hiding it.

“Cal’s gonna have my ass for this,” she said, pushing off the wall and heading towards the Tower, “C’mon, we’re gonna take a walk.”

Jirren followed after her, silent save for the quick breaths that always came with crying. Eventually, the two reached the plaza beneath the Tower. It was less crowded at night. 

As they walked, Cayde moved to talk to Xia. She threw up a hand before he could speak, “Not now, in the morning.”

Cayde knew this voice, this was Xia’s ‘If you talk to me right now I will literally rip out your vocal processor and reprogram it so you sound like Asher Mir,’ voice. “Right. Tomorrow. Gotcha.” he said and slinked back to the bar.

Xia led Jirren past Eververse and climbed on top of the kiosk, offering Jirren a hand. Once she was up, Xia moved over to the railing. “It’s a bit of a drop,” Xia said before vaulting over the railing.

Jirren looked over, panicked, calling out for Xia. Her face softened when she saw Xia sitting rather nonchalantly on a section of piping and wires that had been fed across a gap, held up my a metal frame. Xia looked up and patted the empty space beside her.

Jirren swallowed hard and climbed over the railing and fell hard on the metal frame. It was surprisingly sturdy, she only wished she could say the same about her legs, which buckled under her as she landed.

“Why did you-- OW! Why did you bring me here?” Jirren asked, repositioning herself to sit across from Xia, “And… Are these snacks? And… Sparrow fuel?”

“Yeah, Holliday found this place and adopted it as her own,” Xia said, looking out over the city, “She’s a good kid so I let her stay here.” She turned and looked at Jirren, “Sorry for dragging you out here, by the way, I just… It’s weird, y’know, being back with you two. I needed fresh air, and a six hundred foot drop.”

“Cal found this place a while back,” she said, looking back over the city, “This was our spot before Ghaul showed up and everything went to shit. We’d come here and just watch the city, listen to the people up top.”

Jirren looked out over the city, “It IS a magnificent view,” she said, discomfort in her voice, “Can’t say I’m exactly happy with the lack of any stable foundation, though.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall,”

Jirren smiled, “So you two used to come here after I--”

“Yeah.” Xia cut her off, “Yeah...” She took a moment and looked out over the city, she hated seeing Jirren sad or hurt. “So… Cal says you’re remembering things,”

Jirren nodded, “Yeah, well… Not exactly. It’s like flashes, like… when you have a dream, and when you wake up it’s gone, but then you start remembering random pieces of it through the day, like it’s all disjointed.”

“So how much do you remember?”  
“I remember you,” Jirren said with a small smile, “Well… Not exactly. I know I love you, but...” she paused, unsure of how to put it into words, “When I look at you… It’s like, it takes a while. For me to recognise you.” She followed Xia’s gaze to the same point a ways outside the city. “I know I love you but--” she choked on her words, tears stinging her eyes, her composure threatening to shatter into a million tiny pieces.

“I love you both… But when I look at you, or Cal...” she was crying fully now, taking those short sharp breaths she hated so much, “I don’t know who you are.” She slammed her fist into the case against which she was resting, one of Amanda’s snacks fell and sailed down towards the city below, “I can remember how it felt to die, but I don’t remember anything about you two!”

Xia’s head shot around, locking optics with eyes, “You remember the Bla--” she found herself speechless, if it wasn’t for the fact that she didn’t have lungs, she’d have sworn the air was pulled right out of them.

“I’m sorry,” Jirren said quietly, pulling her knees close to her chest once again, “I’m sorry, Xia.”

Xia shook her head and moved over to Jirren’s side, “You don’t have anything to apologize for, love,” Xia could feel Jirren tremble under her touch. “Hey, look at me,”

Jirren looked up, tears staining her cheeks, her eyes red and puffy.

“We’re gonna be alive a long time, yeah?” Xia said, her voice soft, “We’ll piece those memories back together. You, me and Cal.”

Jirren didn’t speak, she simply wrapped her arms around Xia’s neck, pulled her close, and cried into her shoulder.

The two sat there in silence for a few moments before Xia stood and spoke, “What’s say we get you back on terra firma? Cal’s prolly worried sick,” She offered a hand to Jirren who stood on shaky legs. “Don’t worry, love,” Xia said, wrapping her arm around Jirren’s waist, “I won’t let you fall,”

Jirren looked down at the Exo who stood easily a foot shorter than her with a smile, "Don't worry," she said, pressing a gentle kiss to Xia's lips, "I know you won't." 

**Author's Note:**

> so, turns out, I'm really enjoying writing Fireteam Polybia! If you liked it, I have a [writing blog](http://kaldwinwrites.tumblr.com) where I post a load of original fiction, and my main [tumblr](http://serketssecret.tumblr.com), if any of y'all want to give a follow, it'd be much appreciated! <3


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